I Yelled at Our 2 Year Old Son…
I’m a pretty disciplined guy. My days require a lot of structure and organization. Mornings start early for me…I drop my wife off at the park-and-ride station, and then I drop our daughter off at school. After that — the “organized chaos” begins!
To start with, our 2 year old son is with me pretty much all day every day. We made that decision to aviod the additional day care expense.
Keeping a 2 year old all day might not sound like an overwhelming task to some, but when you’re the lead pastor of a brand new church, things can sometimes get a bit sticky. There are meetings & conference calls, study & sermon writing, lunch appointments with key leaders, correspondence with visitors & guests, coffee with someone on my list of “who I’d like to reach” list, dinner with a new family, or leadership stuff with our elder candidates.
And while getting all those things done — I still have to structure time for daddy-duty FIRST!!! That means cooking breakfast, changing pull-ups, working on potty training every hour, watching “Your Baby Can Read” videos, laying the big boy down for his nap at a consistent hour every day (thank GOD for nap time!), fixing lunch & snacks, reading flash cards, and throwing in some random, good-ole’ fashioned rough-housing!! Truth is, I’ve learned EVERY character on Sesame Street! I can sing the jingle to “Curious George” backwards and forwards! I can do every goofy dance with “Sid the Science Kid!” And after all the singing, dancing, and church planter stuff — I still have to pick up my daughter & wife from after-school & park-and-ride. Sure there are some days where I don’t finish all the items on the “to do” list, but overall, I’d like to think I’m doing a pretty decent job at being a husband, a father, and a pastor.
Lately, I’ve realized that I’ve been a bit stressed. You know the feeling… It’s when you follow through on your disciplines & you’re still getting stuff done, but yet your fuse is a little shorter and your patience is a bit thinner.
Earlier today, while having a phone conversation with one of my friends and mentors, I yelled at my 2 year old son for something that didn’t deserve that harsh of a reaction. I immediately felt terrible, not because someone heard it, but because I was disciplining my son out of frustration — and I knew that wasn’t pleasing to God.
My friend talked with me about the extra stress I was feeling. I told him we were waiting until January to put our 2 yr old into daycare. I told him that would help the church by keeping my salary as low as possible…Then, he helped me to see that by not putting our son in daycare sooner — I was doing everyone an injustice — including myself, my son, and our church.
Before hanging up, he told me he was sending me a check in the mail to cover the registration & daycare for the entire month of December.
…I’m feeling better already.
And I just went into my 15 year old daughter’s profile and personally deleted a filthy mouth punk who dared disrespect her and dishonor my family. Don’t beat yourself up over yelling at your little child. We’re parenting. Its the final frontier…
My 4 year old is deaf and has sever Autism. My husband is in the Coast Guard, so when he is actually home (not out of town) he is not home from work until 6 or 7 at night. Trust me…I know what it is like to be stressed with your kids. I yell a lot more than I should, and for what?! He can’t even hear me! As bad as it sounds, I think sometimes we just need to yell to blow off steam. I always feel so bad afterward though, even if he had no idea i was upset with him, as he usually does not.
Its ok bro it happens you love him hug kiss explain he knows
Try not to beat yourself up to bad we have all been there once. Can you believe even me? Yes really even me LOL. Just look at the blessing you got God always knows our needs. God bless.
WOOHOO Pastor! Great testimony!
That was so powerful that even though you had a plan for your son that made total sense; God had another. What a blessing when He comes in and IS OUR DADDY…even when you are someone else’s dad. Thanks for sharing the blessing. I am rejoicing with you!!!
I also enjoyed the invitation to the church video along with the blog. Nicely done. I wish I knew how to do that. It would be such a help to not only my church, but to my personal ministry. My husband and I were given an on-line relationship support group; The Marriage Network by God. We offer advice, tips, Godly wise counsel from the foundation of the Word and hope that your relationship can last in spite of what the enemy says.
Feel free to give us some feedback at http://www.themarriagenetwork.org or info@themarriagenetwork.org.
Be blessed and thanks again for sharing! We speak continued blessings to your ministry!
YES! My husband is working hard to be the best husband and father he can be! I think we all get frustrated sometimes and overwhelmed with life. I don’t think we should beat ourselves up but I know i often do. Keep it up babe and God is going to see us through.
Your blog was inspirational and thought provoking. I am married with a 3-year old. I understand your frustration and appreciate your honesty. Too many time, to prove we can lead a household, men mask their mistakes and never admit their stress limits.It is good to see someone creating an avenou for discussion so we do not”discipline out of anger” and realize the feeling is shared. The overall result we want to accomplish is to be leaders and helpmates.
I, unlike you work outside the home and spend numerous hours away. The little time I do have at home I try my best to be what the family needs, but with the numerous hours at work, the stress load of work, and the stress and worry of leaving the family to work mounts up. Your blog has made me rethink my discipline tactics, voice octives, and handling of my 3-year old.
Continue to do what you are doing, for I believe God is going to continue to bless you and your house.
Pastor Stargell,
I am so glad that you and the Hope family are well.
I have things kinda straight, got a job, a apartment, but most of all is still standing in the Lord.
Can someone say amen for that too. Is glad your friend decided to help you with the day care Pastor. God is good.
I give Thanks for small blessings today and happy to hear from you.
Many Regards,
Deborah Watson